The Hardest Person to Manage

Let’s focus on the hardest person to manage—ourselves.

As leaders, we juggle teams, boards, and deadlines—but self-leadership? That’s where the real work begins.

Ever noticed how clear things become when a friend asks for advice? You have that objectivity because you’re emotionally distanced. But what if you could bring that same clarity to yourself.

You can.

It’s called psychological distance, and it’s a game changer for managing yourself.

Try this: instead of thinking, I need to get this done, shift to, What does [your name] need to focus on right now?

This tiny tweak provides clarity and perspective, helping you make smarter decisions.

But real self-leadership isn’t just about changing your thoughts.

It’s about intentional reflection and self-awareness.

Most leaders I work with wish for more time to think—but rarely create that space. Even 15 minutes of reflection in your day can help you recalibrate and regain focus.

This isn’t about squeezing more in; it’s about leading yourself first so you can lead others better.

Ask yourself the Greg McKeown question: What’s most essential right now? If you don’t know the answer, carve out time to figure it out.

Your calendar is your most powerful leadership tool.

In self-leadership, the simple habits matter most. Are you getting enough sleep? Moving your body? Drinking water? Spending time with loved ones? Making time to reflect?

These are not afterthoughts—they are the foundation of your leadership.

Amy Varga

President

Since 2013, Amy Varga and her team at The Varga Group have worked with over 200 higher education institutions, independent schools and nonprofits to help them raise more than $350M. The Varga Group team helps organizations grow their fundraising, train their board, coach their leaders and successfully navigate their capital and comprehensive campaigns. The Varga Group is based in Portland, Oregon and works with clients nationwide.